Week Nineteen: January 4th

The triumphant return this week, now a week late due to illness. What better way to round out the old year and begin the new than with the full beard resulting from a few weeks of holiday growth. Sadly, my facial hair wasn't the only thing growing....

I call this "Man-Up!" only in hindsight, as I had no name for it during its week of wearing. Nor did I have many coherent thoughts. Why not, you may ask?

I put in only two public appearances all week: one staff development day on the 4th, at which I unveiled a rollicking one-man guitar song I wrote the night before. It was about the second half of the school year--a slightly-Dylan, mostly Sandler preview of all things important to the kids during the second half of the year. The staff was rather unsure what to make of it, though they may have been thrown a bit by the red eyes and glasses I sported in day-after rock star fashion.

The return day for the kids was Tuesday, and they said nary a word on the subject of hair--not even to comment, as they usually do, upon the color of the beard. Mostly, they accuse me of dyeing my facial hair and/or my hair, neither of which would be beyond the typical realm of possibility for me. But, then again, they had little time to accuse me of anything, as Tuesday was the only day they saw me.

I showed up on Wednesday morning and sat at my desk (hours before their arrival) slowly descending into the grip of an illness that would commandeer my life for the next week. Fifteen minutes before they arrived, I lost all feeling in my hands and feet, and began to have difficulty seeing out of one or both eyes. Dragging myself to the nurse's office (love that feature of the elementary school!) I passed two people, both of whom said, "Oh my God, are you sick? You should leave!" The second, fortunately, was our registrar who called me a sub immediately.

Back in my classroom, awaiting the sub, the first trickle of kids entered the door, unaware that my head was now playing tricks on me. They all approached for their usual greetings and check-in, and I felt suddenly as if I was in a fun house, or tripping on some drug slipped into my soy milk. Mercifully, a TA arrived to watch my kids until the sub arrived. I threw my belongings in a backpack, zipped my computer into a bag, and stumbled out of the room, to the worried looks of many kids, and the clueless calls of others. Somehow, I drove home.

By the time I woke up, sometime later that evening, I could barely stand, and I had no idea what day it was, time it was, nor any recollection of the last half-day. I did not eat food for three days, and became unusually sensitive to all smells. My temperature swung from 93 degrees to 102 degrees within an hour and I had such severe chills I could barely remain upright. On a bright note, I managed to be spared further absences by two consecutive snow days to round out the week.

Thanks to Man Up! at least my face was warm.