Week Twenty-Three: February 1st

Beards: Amsterdam-style. I am a big fan of concept-beards, a fact that is all-too obvious to anyone who reads these postings even semi-regularly. Some concepts get noticed. Some stand out. Some win approval with their creative subtlety. And some pass with utter confusion and pitying glances.

This beard falls into the latter category. Though I always know what is going on with my facial hair, anyone who sees me enough cannot quite place a finger on the variations, or the strangeness (and let's assume the strangeness of the facial hair is what befuddles them. I am perfectly normal to me. Aren't we all?)

"Two Clogs On A Wire" made perfect sense to me, but was not as easy to craft as I had envisioned. Seemed like a good idea at the time... what some would argue should be my personal motto, fit the bill on this beard. For the first time, I am including two photos so you can see the right-hand clog (the more successful one) and the leftover patches that represent the craggy borders of The Netherlands. Yes, that one took some time...!

Much like the "Man" so many people claim to see in the Moon, one must use imagination--what English teachers would call "suspension of disbelief"--to see the hard-cork heel near my chin and the rounded toe between my earlobe and jawline. Kudos to you if noticed the large hole at the top through which you would slip your foot in this laceless beard.

Because this looked more like a shaving accident gone bad, I got several second and sideways glances throughout the week: Did he miss a spot? How well do I know him; can I tell him about those stray hairs above the rest of the beard? What in the world is that thing on his chin--is that, no it couldn't be, and yet I think it is...The Netherlands?

Though the thick mustache serves as the "wire" in this motif, it hardly resembled one. If I had to lay blame on one aspect of the beard that did not work, it was that one. For, as we all know, the fault could not lie in the hand (and razor) of the shaver. No, his hand is steady and true, even if his vision and his mind are not.